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Phoenix...Our Sun by =Mattiello:iconMattiello:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Romantic > Other Romance > Open


Through it all, I will love her.

The sun may fall,
but the light can still be seen -
a steady and endless beat.
The ocean may wash away
our beautiful sandcastles,
but it can never wash away
the memories we share.

As time wanders by
unaware of its own passing,
I will still fall in love with my once "Annabel Lee"
though I will see her in my arms
slumbering away the day's toll.
I will give Day its toll,
so that I may hold her a while longer.

For the present, however,
the sun will rise as a Phoenix
and the rain will heal our sorrows.
We are at the end of a rainbow
that reaches past the mist
and into our hearts.
©2009 =Mattiello
:iconmattiello:

Author's Comments

Real title: Phoenix - Our Sun

I hope you like this, ~TinyDancerXOX

There tried to make this flow really well and I used a lot of imagery, symbolism, and metaphors. I hope you like it.

Critiques


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:iconmarcielou:
~MarcieLou Feb 17, 2009, 9:13:40 PM
I think it's beautiful...

--
*****:heart:Peace And Love:heart:*****

Marcie

"A friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out." -Anonymous
:iconstriderwg:
*StriderWG Feb 17, 2009, 9:19:15 PM
Very beautiful and smartly written, also short enough for a quick read, but still very enjoyable. Afraid I don't have critique, sorry. ^^;

--
"From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were; I have not seen
As others saw; I could not bring
My passions from a common spring."
- Edgar Allan Poe, Alone
:iconmattiello:
=Mattiello Feb 17, 2009, 9:26:30 PM
That's quite alright. I fixed the two typos. :D

Thank you!

--
[link] Counting Clouds - an exciting book!

[link] My tutorials!


If you LOVE it then suggest it to a GM - now!
:iconmattiello:
=Mattiello Feb 17, 2009, 9:26:40 PM
Thanks! :hug:

--
[link] Counting Clouds - an exciting book!

[link] My tutorials!


If you LOVE it then suggest it to a GM - now!
:iconeatingmyownfears:
*EatingMyOwnFears Feb 17, 2009, 9:32:10 PM
Well done :D

--
Don't blame me.

I'm just here for the cookies.
:iconmattiello:
=Mattiello Feb 17, 2009, 9:36:19 PM
Thank you!

--
[link] Counting Clouds - an exciting book!

[link] My tutorials!


If you LOVE it then suggest it to a GM - now!
:iconmarcielou:
~MarcieLou Feb 17, 2009, 9:42:05 PM
no problem!

--
*****:heart:Peace And Love:heart:*****

Marcie

"A friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out." -Anonymous
:iconeatingmyownfears:
*EatingMyOwnFears Feb 17, 2009, 9:45:26 PM
:)

--
Don't blame me.

I'm just here for the cookies.
:iconsomething44:
~something44 Feb 18, 2009, 10:45:51 AM
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of ANNABEL LEE;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.

Wow, man. Very creative piece. I find that Annabel Lee line a bit cute... I've always adored the Phoenix. It's the eternal symbol resurrection... but an old Mexican saying once said, where flame was ashes remain. Either way, you did a pretty good job.

--
Some people say they haven't yet found themselves. But the self is not something one finds; it is something one creates.
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